Secret Lives: Book Three: A Blamed Self
by Tsukinobiki
Summary: Here goes nothin'... This is about Raye's life before we meet her and her thoughts while we knew her...


Disclaimers: I don't own Sailor Moon (But I wish I did), Naoko does and a few other people my altztimers' mind can't remember... This is the third fic I've wrote so far. Trust me! This is not my last one... I still have seven more scouts to go! Well, plz don't flame me!!! since you love me sooo much and all ;-) I want to thank my Nii-san for editing this work for me as he has for all of my wonderful works of my twisted mind...Kellybug! Well, now that I've jabbered on for WAY too long... enjoy! ~*~MoonTwit~*~  
  
  
A Blamed Self  
  
My name is Raye Hino. I'm now 16 and having the best time of my life. I've been noted to be physic and hot-headed. Many people say that I'm absolutely gorgeous, so talented and very clever. But I remember a time, way back to just a few years after I was born. I didn't think I was gorgeous, talented nor smart but ugly, moronic and just plain dumb. I believed this because that's all I heard. Not only did I hear that, but I also heard something that still hurts to this day... a murderer.  
It all started when my mother and my father conceived me. The nine months that it took for me become a human being went perfectly fine despite some morning sickness. But after that nine month period, when my mother went into labor, everything went downhill from there. A 25 hour labor it took for me to be brought into this world. Also a 25 hour labor that took my mother out of this world and almost me as well. It didn't help that my father wasn't there but at a business meeting that seemed to be more important then his wife and what was to be his first and only child. When he did finally show up, you would think that he would've thought 'Oh my! I almost lost both of them... at least I have something of her,' but nooo! The only look he had for me and always will have for me is a glare of complete utter hatred. A glare that says, you killed my wife.  
I was released from the hospital 2 days after my mother's funeral. After that, a family trip was planned to go to the hospital and look at her beautiful baby. My family oooed and ahhhed at me while me father didn't even acknowledge my presence. His family was a little POed at him for ignoring such a beautiful little girl and kept telling him that at least he had something of his wife left behind. But he'd just glare at me and respond with phrases like 'That thing??' or 'That murderer?' His family doesn't talk with him much anymore...I wonder why...  
I lived with my father for 5 years. 5 years of him always being at his job and as far from me as possible. But when he was near me, all I got was abuse. It started as verbal. He'd say stuff like "That's not my daughter! That is a murderer!" or "You stupid bitch! Get away from me! You're gonna kill me too, just like your mother!!!" But eventually physical was added. He would beat me if I annoyed him, if I did something he thought to be wrong or if he just felt like it. But as I was about to find out, thing can get better from rock bottom.  
The best thing happened to me when it turned 6 years old. My family decided to have a family reunion/birthday party. It was to be held at the Cherry Hill Temple, where my mother's father lived. Since we lived in a northern Japan island, we had to stay on the main island for a week. My father obviously thought that this was a waste of time but thought that he should go so if anyone saw him, he'd be dubbed a "Great" father. We were going to stay at a hotel but my grandpa offered guest rooms at the temple for us to stay in. At first my father refused but accepted when grand pa talked him into it by saying that it's free, unlike the hotel we were to stay in.  
The family reunion was so fun. I wasn't beaten for 2 days and everyone was complementing me which never happened to me before. After the second da that we were there, my father left saying that he had some business meetings to attend to. He told me I would stay here as not to get in his way. The first night after he left, my grandpa was giving me a bath when he noticed bruises and cuts all over my body. He told me that everything was going to be okay and that he would make sure that I would never be hurt by "daddy" again. I was elated. He told me that he was going to confront my father when he came back from his "business trip" but he never came back.  
I was constantly afraid that my father would come back and kill me like he had threatened to do before. I was afraid to have fun, speak up...hell, to do anything period. But grandpa was there for me. He'd be gentle and quiet with me instead of the loud, rough lifestyle I was used to. One day, six months after my father left and never came back, my grandpa went down to the courthouse and filed for guardianship. I'm surprised that they gave him the papers, considering how perverted he can be sometimes. He sent them to my father overnight mail and we got them back 2 days later signed, giving me to my grandpa. You would think I'd be the happiest girl in the world, wouldn't you? But I was heartbroken. How could your own father just hand you over so easily? It'll always hurt but at least I had someone who cared for me now.  
Now 7, I was the happiest I've ever been. But yet I was still unhappy. I was extremely grateful for grandpa and me deciding to train me as a Shinto Priestess, but I was still depressed about my father. School wasn't too uplifting either. I only had one friend. She was the only one until I was 13. Her life was no piece of cake either. Her parent were divorced and both alcoholics. The only friend she had was me because she stuttered. Girls at school constantly made fun of her, so on her 14th birthday she hung herself with her bedsheets.  
I was devastated. The day after her funeral, I was in the room I meditated in every day. I couldn't cry anymore. My tears just wouldn't come. I just sat there as questions flew threw my head a million miles per hour. 'Who would actually care if I was dead? Would anyone notice?? Would my father party because "the murderer" be gone?' That's when I decided to end my life. I found a knife in the kitchen and brought it back to the room. I was about to cut my wrists when all of a sudden I was enveloped in a red glow then everything went black.  
When I woke up, the knife disappeared, and I was laying on the ground. But there were no cuts on my wrists. 'Damn! What happened?!' My thought process was interrupted by a voice.  
"Please do not do this! Everything will get better, I promise! But please stay alive! You will be needed very shortly! Please stay alive!"  
For some reason I believed that caring, gentle voice. Eventually that voice would become the reason for my actual being in this world. And the time I would be needed came sooner than I expected...The time that I would be needed would come when I was 14 years old...  
It was a normal day at the Temple. We had this new worker. Jed was his name. I'll never forget that name because he helped me find my true self...Sailor Mars. He helped me a find better life even though he was my enemy...he helped me find a life full of friends that became my family and will always be. Friends like Luna, Serena, or Sere, and Ami. Jed actually turned out to be Jedite, one of Queen Beryl's Star-crossed* generals. We never knew what happened to him. We defeated him, then he was never to be seen again.   
Next in line was Nephrite, another one of Beryl's star-crossed generals. He was also destroyed but at least he went in Molly's arms. Poor Molly thought she loved the guy but it turned out that Melvin was the only one for her.  
Then there was Zoisite, also to be destroyed by Beryl. Sometime after Zoisite took over we got Lita on the team. She's Sailor Jupiter, senshi of thunder and lightening. And soon after her, Venus came. She was known as Sailor V back in England and oh boy! Is she like Sere! She is such a ditz sometimes!!! The day after she arrived we found out that Sere, or Sailor Moon, was our Moon Princess that we were sworn to protect. Unfortunately, Tuxedo Mask, a.k.a. Darien, was taken and later turned into Evil Prince Darien.   
We soon defeated Queen Beryl, throwing our lives away so that Sere could go on and defeat Beryl. Sere got Darien turned back to our side but he died shortly afterwards. Then there was a showdown between our Moon Princess and Beryl. She called for our help and we came to her side to help her stay up and defeat the evil witch. But we lost all of our memories in that battle...even memories of us being friends...family.  
We had our memories revived when Alan, Ann and the Doom Tree came to earth... Well, except Darien of whom which Ann had a huge crush on. Eventually Sere and Darien got Alan and Ann to see that they loved each other and negativity didn't need to be apart of everything. After they left, We had Rini show up on our doorstep.. more likely on Sere's head *snickers*. An annoying, pink-haired little rabbit that was from the future. We learned that she was Darien and Sere's future child when they became Queen and King of the Earth. We fought and defeated the Doom Phantom and saved our world but it wasn't long before Fiore showed up...  
Kisenian Blossom had him under her spell. With him under her spell they had their "planet" headed straight for Earth to destroy it. When he had captured us during that 2-day battle, we realized how much meant to us and saved our lives! Stopping the planet from colliding with the Earth cost Sere her life. And that was the first time in my life that I had been truly scared. But she came back of us then Rini went back to the future.  
Our Next enemy was the Deathbusters lead by a brain-washed Dr. Tomoe. We had Uranus and Neptune join the team...well, maybe they didn't join at that point but they were there. We even got Rini on the team as Sailor Mini Moon! We eventually learned their identities of Amara and Michelle and even of the mysterious Sailor Pluto, or Trista Meiou. And we even learned the identity of the senshi of death and destruction...Sailor Saturn, or Hotaru Tomoe. Which was killed and was then turned into a little baby again to be raised as she should have.  
Next came Queen Nelehenia. She wanted the thrown of the Moon Kingdom and complete and total darkness. To do this, she needed the Golden Crystal which Pegasus, or Helios, guarded. We never knew for the longest time but he was hiding in Rini's dream mirror and would help Sailor Moon defeat a youma when he was called by Mini Moon. Eventually, Nelehenia went back into the mirror from which she was encased in by Queen Serenity to live by herself to be forever beautiful.   
She came back when Sere, Ami, Lita, Mina and I were barely in high school. She was mad for not destroying us the first time so she came back ten-fold. Her minions attacked Amara and Michelle and were defeated by Sailor Pluto who came with baby Hotaru. Pluto explained that her power would be needed soon but just before she could finish explain any further, Nelenhenia's minions were forming again. After the Outers had powered up to Super stage and defeated all the minions, a 4 year old Hotaru came up to them explaining that the princess was endanger. So, They immediately came back to Tokyo and helped to heal Nelehenia. Since that battle they've remained in Tokyo to help protect our princess and make our future become possible, and Rini went back home to her time.  
Sometime after we healed Nelehenia, Galaxia, the most powerful senshi in the Universe, attacked earth in search of the starseeds of us Senshi because they will forever be bright and powerful. Galaxia was once not so violent but a leader on her home planet; so, in a battle, she encased Chaos into her body and sent out her starseed who became Chibi Chibi. The Starlights came to Earth to stop Galaxia and find their own princess, Princess Fireball. She had her starseed extracted and she faded away into nonexistence. We eventually learned that the Starlights were actually our friends Yaten, Taiki and Seiya, who was in love with Sere. We went into our final battle sometime after that. Us Inners went down protecting our precious princess and faded away. Next were Pluto and Saturn. They went down when Uranus and Neptune turned to Galaxia's side and took their starseeds away. Neptune and Uranus went down next after that. Their whole plan was to pretend to be on Galaxia's side until the right time presented itself, then they retaliated against her but lost their lives anyway. Sere and Galaxia had their showdown where Sere destroyed Chaos inside of her and freed Galaxia from her confinement. We came back to her as did Darien. That was when we learned that on the plane to Harvard, Galaxia attacked him and took his starseed.   
Now we are all so happy with no worries for now. I have the family that I've always wanted and dreamed for. I'm now engaged to Chad, who worked at the temple because he wanted to get over his stage fright. The first time I saw him, I fell in love but denied it just the same. Right after the battle with Galaxia, I knew that I truly loved him and that being a senshi doesn't have to rule my life. And dying in that battle made me realize how much I need someone...even an airhead wannabe rockstar like Chad. And when I look back up at my life, I know it's hard and painful, but I now know that wherever I go, whatever I do, what choices I make...I'll always have family to back me up, catch me when I fall and push me right back up...forever...  
  
  
  



End file.
